Un-Fucking-Hinged

Well, that was an unexpected turn of events in regards to going off medication.  Nothing could have prepared me for the rage going through my body in the past two weeks.  To be short and to the point – I am unhinged.  Truly, unhinged.  My attitude has changed a lot.  I never realized how much more mellow my medication made me.  If you ask FullEclipse, I am anything but mellow.

But honestly, I can feel the difference.  Everything angers me.  There is just pure rage coming off my pores.  The gates are open and the fallout is interesting.

I went from trying to please everyone in spite of how I felt to not giving a damn about what comes out of my mouth.  The kids are the one ones who don’t get to see this side of me when I speak to them.

As refreshing as it feels to say what I think, it is not good.  People get upset.  I get angrier.  Nothing good comes out of it.  It feels like I should bow down and let people walk all over me.

I guess I am lost because the change in behavior was unexpected.

Even this post does not make sense in my head.

I will speak with Dr. Redemption next week.  Being off medications might not be in the cards for me at all.  If I give up now, it feels like I am quitter.  However, if I don’t nip this issue in the butt right away, I will end up causing a lot of trouble because I hurt people.

signature

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s