Breaking up is always hard.
Imagine breaking up with the person you trust to help you with your anxiety!
Last year, I was seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and many interns (oh the joys of a teaching hospital). I don’t mind going to a teaching hospital at all. What bothers me is the fact that I have to answer the same questions over and over and over. With anxiety, relieving your symptoms is not a good idea.
Before I go further, I have to say that last year was one of the hardest on my psyche and body. I
was becoming became a recluse who could not go out of a one mile radius. My panic attacks were that bad. To top it all off, I continued to gain weight. I would days without seeing the light of day.
The more I saw my psychologist (named Dr. I don’t care), the worst I got. I really felt that I was not getting what I needed out of my sessions. He relied on the medications to help me feel better – they didn’t. Dr. I don’t care, just sat there and nodded. One of the things I stressed every time was how I wanted to stop the medication. I wanted to get to the root of my issues and get over it. My life and the one of my family could not pass me by while I wondered what to do. I got no feedback from him. The last insult was watching him nod off during a session. That really pissed me off. I should have said something, but chose not to. The next day, I called my psychiatrist and asked to be transferred.
In some ways, it was good that Dr. I don’t care didn’t get a chance to speak to me. I mean, what would I have said? Oh Dr., you are great. It is not you, it’s me. But in reality, it really was him! I couldn’t be the nice person and lie to make him feel better. His service was horrible. How he has kept his job remains a mystery to me.
The lesson to be learned is always to speak up.
If I hadn’t said something, I doubt I would be in this stage of recovery. I would not have met two of the most amazing psychiatrists: Dr. How I Met Your Mother and Dr. Backstreet Boy. They have been the key to my success.
But more on them later.