This Time, It Really Is You!!

Breaking up is always hard.

Imagine breaking up with the person you trust to help you with your anxiety!

Last year, I was seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and many interns (oh the joys of a teaching hospital).  I don’t mind going to a teaching hospital at all.  What bothers me is the fact that I have to answer the same questions over and over and over.  With anxiety, relieving your symptoms is not a good idea.

Before I go further, I have to say that last year was one of the hardest on my psyche and body.  I was becoming became a recluse who could not go out of a one mile radius.  My panic attacks were that bad.  To top it all off, I continued to gain weight.  I would days without seeing the light of day.

The more I saw my psychologist (named Dr. I don’t care), the worst I got.  I really felt that I was not getting what I needed out of my sessions.  He relied on the medications to help me feel better – they didn’t.  Dr. I don’t care, just sat there and nodded.  One of the things I stressed every time was how I wanted to stop the medication.  I wanted to get to the root of my issues and get over it.  My life and the one of my family could not pass me by while I wondered what to do.  I got no feedback from him.  The last insult was watching him nod off during a session.  That really pissed me off.  I should have said something, but chose not to.  The next day, I called my psychiatrist and asked to be transferred.

In some ways, it was good that Dr. I don’t care didn’t get a chance to speak to me.  I mean, what would I have said?  Oh Dr., you are great.  It is not you, it’s me.  But in reality, it really was him! I couldn’t be the nice person and lie to make him feel better.  His service was horrible.  How he has kept his job remains a mystery to me.

The lesson to be learned is always to speak up.

If I hadn’t said something, I doubt I would be in this stage of recovery.  I would not have met two of the most amazing psychiatrists: Dr. How I Met Your Mother and Dr. Backstreet Boy.  They have been the key to my success.

But more on them later.

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Blog Layout

Moving from blogger to WordPress was done in order to make some posts password protected.

This seems counterintuitive in the blogging world.  After all, there seems to be a narcissistic attribute to the whole “hey look at me!!  I am writing!!”

But I know that people from my past read my posts.  Why?  I don’t understand it.  They didn’t like me then.  I wonder if anything has changed.

I would be so nice for them to drop me a message instead of reading about my life and taking pleasure in my problems.

: waves hand and a sarcastic white flag :

Parley anyone?

Anyway…

Blogger had a more user friendly interface.  Customizing my blog was easy.  Wordpress doesn’t seem to have that friendliness that I need.

Maybe I need time and classes to figure it out.

In the meantime, you will see changes in the layout.  I have to find something that works for me.

Tumblr wasn’t so difficult.

Facebook isn’t so hard.

Twitter is perfect.

Oh well…

Woe is me.