This Time, It Really Is You!!

Breaking up is always hard.

Imagine breaking up with the person you trust to help you with your anxiety!

Last year, I was seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and many interns (oh the joys of a teaching hospital).  I don’t mind going to a teaching hospital at all.  What bothers me is the fact that I have to answer the same questions over and over and over.  With anxiety, relieving your symptoms is not a good idea.

Before I go further, I have to say that last year was one of the hardest on my psyche and body.  I was becoming became a recluse who could not go out of a one mile radius.  My panic attacks were that bad.  To top it all off, I continued to gain weight.  I would days without seeing the light of day.

The more I saw my psychologist (named Dr. I don’t care), the worst I got.  I really felt that I was not getting what I needed out of my sessions.  He relied on the medications to help me feel better – they didn’t.  Dr. I don’t care, just sat there and nodded.  One of the things I stressed every time was how I wanted to stop the medication.  I wanted to get to the root of my issues and get over it.  My life and the one of my family could not pass me by while I wondered what to do.  I got no feedback from him.  The last insult was watching him nod off during a session.  That really pissed me off.  I should have said something, but chose not to.  The next day, I called my psychiatrist and asked to be transferred.

In some ways, it was good that Dr. I don’t care didn’t get a chance to speak to me.  I mean, what would I have said?  Oh Dr., you are great.  It is not you, it’s me.  But in reality, it really was him! I couldn’t be the nice person and lie to make him feel better.  His service was horrible.  How he has kept his job remains a mystery to me.

The lesson to be learned is always to speak up.

If I hadn’t said something, I doubt I would be in this stage of recovery.  I would not have met two of the most amazing psychiatrists: Dr. How I Met Your Mother and Dr. Backstreet Boy.  They have been the key to my success.

But more on them later.




Blog Layout

Moving from blogger to WordPress was done in order to make some posts password protected.

This seems counterintuitive in the blogging world.  After all, there seems to be a narcissistic attribute to the whole “hey look at me!!  I am writing!!”

But I know that people from my past read my posts.  Why?  I don’t understand it.  They didn’t like me then.  I wonder if anything has changed.

I would be so nice for them to drop me a message instead of reading about my life and taking pleasure in my problems.

: waves hand and a sarcastic white flag :

Parley anyone?


Blogger had a more user friendly interface.  Customizing my blog was easy.  Wordpress doesn’t seem to have that friendliness that I need.

Maybe I need time and classes to figure it out.

In the meantime, you will see changes in the layout.  I have to find something that works for me.

Tumblr wasn’t so difficult.

Facebook isn’t so hard.

Twitter is perfect.

Oh well…

Woe is me.