…I’ve come to talk to you again.
Great, not this song will be stuck in my head for a while!
Last Friday I met with two psychiatrists. Why two? The hospital where I go to get my medical care is a teaching hospital. Chances are, an intern will be there to help the attending physician. Normally, I do not have a problem with this arrangement because people have to learn somehow. They can do whatever to my body. Yet, when it comes to my mental health, I want the real thing!!
Oh well…after a long conversation about my anxiety, my fears, and how I am not going out at all, the doctors recommended I go back on Zoloft. They want me to wait until K2 is born if possible. However, if I need to start taking it before, they are okay with it because it is supposed to be safe for the baby this late in the pregnancy. I am not taking Zoloft until after the baby is born just to be on the safe side. I could consult with Dr. Dracula, but my weekly appointment on Thursday was rescheduled (translation: I changed it) for the day before the c-section. I can wait a few more days. Also, the doctors think that there might be a slight chance that my anxiety will decrease one K2 is here. I really hope so. With Paczki, I had no anxiety. It was after she was born when I began having panic attacks. Part of it was the fact that FullEclipse and I were adapting to our new roles. I kept a lot of what I felt inside and that is how I ended up with in so much trouble.
I have said many times that I hate the thought of being medicated. I hated the side effects. The doctors understand me. They know how much weight I gained on Zoloft. They know that I want to breastfeed K2. Right now, I am priority number one and I need to get a grip on my health. This is what the doctors said. Therapy will help me, but it take a while to work. The best course of action is medication with therapy until I get better.
I feel upset because I might not be able to breastfeed K2. At least I want to have the option to do so. Even though Zoloft is the safest medication out there, it can still get into the breast milk.
Thankfully, my husbands Godmother/Aunt is the head of pediatrics and infections diseases (yeah, she is well-educated) and she is going to look into research on Zoloft and breastfeeding. All my in-laws kick major ass!! The decision to breastfeed will be mine in the end. It is just nice to know all of my options.
In the meantime, I am sitting here waiting for the next therapist appointment (tomorrow!) and thinking of what to do.