The big secret of 2011

If I were to tell you 9/4/11, what would you say?

Maybe, it is just a random date, or the day before Memorial Day 2011.

For the people who know me, it is just a few days before my birthday.


For me, it is my due date!!!!

Yes…I, Queen Frigid, am pregnant with my second baby!

*Link to image

FullEclipse, Packzi, and I could not be happier.

Yesterday was the start of the 20th week of this pregnancy.  I am 19 weeks, but my books and trustworthy pregnancy calculator say that this counts as the 20th week.  Also, yesterday was the first time where I could feel a lot of movement from the Jelly Bean or K2 as this baby is called.  There has been some movement before, but not like yesterday.

So many thoughts are running through my head!

First, hahahaha to my doctor because I knew what my due date would be based on my not so regular cycles.   He told me my due date was August something and an ultrasound proved him wrong!

Second, how cool would it be to have the baby on my birthday?  Sadly, he/she will be born before 9/4/11 because I will have another c-section.

This pregnancy is so different from Paczki’s.  I am more tired, but I don’t go to sleep at 6:00 pm. anymore.  I finally know what morning sickness feels like and it is the worst feeling in the world.  Even after the first trimester has passed, I still get it.  I have thrown up so much.  My migraines have returned, my anxiety is very high and I only have medicine for emergencies only which makes it really hard for me to go day by day at times.

My vegetarian diet is out the window…bring on the meat!

I haven’t gained a lot of weight, but I worry about it a lot because I can put on weight like there is no tomorrow.

My habit of watching People’s Court came back.  Much like his/her big sister, this baby enjoys Judge Marylin Milian.

KittyKat (Kona is still here) follow me around like before.  Fuego seems more attached to me.  I guess he knows something big is coming.

I feel guilty for not starting a baby blog yet.  With Paczki, I had a ton of posts by this time.  I gotta get on that!!

On Thursday, I should know the sex of the baby.  If he/she takes after Paczki, we will have a hard time seeing anything.  Earlier in the pregnancy, I had an ultrasound and the baby did not cooperate at all.  Paczki was that way.  In fact, it took about three techs to figure out her sex.

I can’t deny that I am scared shitless about becoming a mommy for the second time especially with another c-section!

After the miscarriage I suffered last year, I had been very worried about the health of this baby.  Thankfully everything seems to be going smoothly.

I found out about this pregnancy on FullEclipse’s Birthday late December of 2010 jut as soon as I knew something wasn’t right.  FullEclipse always wanted me to surprise him when I found out about new pregancies…oh boy, was he surprised.

With Paczki, I just showed him the test and he said, “get out of here!”  The second pregnancy that I lost, was just a text message that he never got.  So, he was due for a nice surprise.  I put the test stick inside one of his presents.  His reaction was not what I expected, but he is not one to show his emotions at times.  But he was surprised.  The happiness came after he realized that I wasn’t joking about being pregnant.

This baby was not planned, but FullEclipse and I weren’t being careful.  In the back of our minds, we knew what could happen, but we didn’t care.

I keep thinking about the people who can’t have children and I feel so blessed that I am able to get pregnant.

I am blessed because I have a gorgeous daughter that was born healthy despite my anxiety.

I am blessed because FullEclipse has been there for me through the morning sickness, anxiety, and just overall feeling that things are just too much for us.

Our love and relationship gets stronger everyday.

I can’t wait for K2 to come and join us.


Someone has a secret!

For the past few weeks, I have wanted to scream to the world what is going on!

Due to the family being sick and the departure of Kona, I have not found the right time to post this.

Okay, my friends are in the know, but I still have this need to announce this live changing event to the world.

Lately, this Madonna song has been in the back of my head.  It fits perfectly with the changes that are happening around the house.:

Things haven’t been the same
Since you came into my life
You found a way to touch my soul
And I’m never, ever, ever gonna let it go

Happiness lies in your own hand
It took me much too long to understand
How it could be
Until you shared your secret with me

Mmm mmm
Something’s comin’ over, mmm mmm
Something’s comin’ over, mmm mmm
Something’s comin’ over me
My baby’s got a secret


I normally hate blogs where you get a cliffhanger.  Since I am running out of time and energy tonight, I will just leave you with this:

Mmm mmm
Something’s comin’ over, mmm mmm
Something’s comin’ over, mmm mmm
Something’s comin’ over me
My baby’s got a secret



The right thing to do?

For the past few weeks, I have wanted to write an incredible post where I share some great news.

However, something else comes into play and it eclipses all the good stuff that happens.

Whether it is a panic attack, work or just anything crazy, it seems like life does not want to give me a moment’s rest.

This is another shitty thing that has happened.

Okay, shitty does not begin to cover it.

On March 22, 2011, FullEclipse finally made the decision to give Kona up for adoption.

The decision came out of nowhere, at least, I had no idea that he had been thinking about  re-homing Kona.

How FullEclipse told me we had to give her up was so sudden.

He was cooking dinner with Paczki when I noticed that Kona had gone peed in the hallway leading to the bathroom.  She had just gone outside to the bathroom.  I went to tell FullEclipse about it and he said, “I have had it.  I just can’t do this anymore.  Kona needs to find a new home.”

His words surprised me.

I went into my room to cry because I did not want to belive it.

FullEclipse has always been so patient.  His decisions are not hasty so I knew this was for real.


Kona is our rescue boxer.

She has been part of my life for four years.

She is a family member.

She is Packzi’s best friend.

Kona was my buddy during my pregnancy.  She never left me alone.

Heck, she is even a cover girl in a calendar.

How could FullEclipse even consider giving her up without even telling me?


The truth is that FullEclipse had wanted to talk to me about Kona for a while, but things had been hectic.

He outline his reasons.  As much as I wanted to argue, I know he is right.

In reality, Kona came to us as a very damaged dog.  Her previous owner had neglected Kona is so many ways.  I don’t think he meant to inflict so much damage on Kona.  But, she was left inside a crate for hours and hours.  No potty breaks, no much human interaction.

When we adopted her, Kona had a hard time being potty trained.  At the time she had a doggy door so she could do her business.  Once we were robbed, the doggy door was taken away, but she still had access to the big yard.  Accidents happened, but we took it in stride.

FullEclipse had been able to teach Kona that her doggy crate was not to be feared.  We could leave her in the crate while we ran errands.  If left alone with Fuego, Kona would get into trouble.  Since FullEclipse is a stay home parent, the dogs would not be crated for long.

The crate became an issue when we left for vacation a year ago.  One of our dog sitters wasn’t around as much as we had hoped.  Kona freaked out and broke out of her crate.  She could have been injured, but thankfully nothing happened.  The crate was history as FullEclipse has been unsuccessful with the crate retraining.

Finally, when we moved to a smaller place, Kona lost the big yard and her bad habits really became an issue.

All of the above “offenses,” are things we can work on.

The big issue, the one we cannot work on even with all the training we have done is her aggression with Fuego.

We always knew Kona was the dominant dog.  The trainer told us what to do in order to insure that the pack order was understood by everyone.

Even with the advice, Kona began to fight with Fuego about a year and a half ago.

So toys, treats, etc. were out the window to avoid conflict.

Fuego puts with Kona’s aggression as much as possible, but there will be a time when he will not back down.  In the meantime, he has become skittish and very afraid of Kona.

FullEclipse has hired a trainer, but even with her advice things are getting worse.

The fear is that once FullEclipse goes back to work, KittyKat will be left alone and could potentially get into a fight that can turn deadly.  Even worse, Paczki could be in the middle of a fight and become injured.

We also have other BIG changes coming our way that will add to the stress in the household.

KittyKat deserve much better.

Fuego needs to be in a stress free environment.

Kona needs to be in a home where she has access to a big yard.  She also needs to be the only dog.

So, FullEclipse contacted the rescue where we got her from.

They didn’t have any space available so we had to keep her.

I didn’t think her adoption could come soon.  Kona is 5 1/2 years old.  Typically, not what people want.

So, we took pictures and I had to write up a bio for Kona.  It was so hard to do, but this is what it says:

Posted 3/25/11


My name is Kona and I am happy five and a half year old female.  I am loving, energetic, cuddly, and I love kids.  My family has a three year old girl.  She is my best friend.

Unfortunately, our living situation changed.  My family had to move to a smaller place where space is limited.  I enjoy running around a big yard and this cramped space is not the right place for a girl like me.  My family thought and thought about this situation.  They know that the best thing for me would be to be in a home where I have a yard where I can run and run until I get tired.  I also need to be the only dog because I need to get all the attention.  I only share the spotlight with kids.

My family does not want to let me go, but they know that this is the right thing to do.  They know I will find a home where I will be loved as much as I am loved here.


She looks so sad in her picture.

I had to fight tears as I wrote the words.

Two days ago, someone showed interest in Kona.

This family will perfect for Kona.

If all goes well on April 9th, Kona will be at a new place with a better family.  I will not be driving down to drop her off.  It will be too much for me.  I don’t think I could let her go.

I hate the fact that Kona will have a new best friend…not my daughter.

I had hoped for a chance of heart in FullEclipse.

I hate this situation because I feel like I am guilty.

If I had cleaned the pee without telling FullEclipse, maybe he would have waited a little longer to rehome Kona.

I hate California for being such a bad place for businesses.  If things had gone right here, I would still have a house with a big yard for Kona.

I hate the fact that Kona will no longer be mine.

I hate the fact that Paczki will lose her best friend.

I hate the fact that I am powerless to do anything about this.

I will miss her terrible.

The tears will not stop flowing.

I feel guilty.

In the many times FullEclipse and I stayed up thinking about the loss of our home, we made a promise that even if we ended up living in the back of our truck, our family would remain intact.

As always, I failed.