>Still here

>It has been a while since I have written.

I have a ton of ideas for posts, but somehow, my inspiration disappears as soon as I sit down in front of my computer.

I had the week off from work and yet I managed to accomplish nothing.

Tomorrow marks the end of the year.

I hope to have a nice post then


>Four years – Miss you Gimpy


This is the way you always looked…puzzled and confused about the food that was presented to you.  BRAT!

This is one of my last pictures of you.  The pose that will forever remind me of you.  You had the same look as the day I picked you up from the shelter.  The day that you came home with me, not even a week after my parents promised me I could have a pet. 

I still remember where I got you from.  I can recall the details down to what name I would give you.  Gimpy was the first thing that came to me.

People said that you were a cocker spaniel.  In a few years, I would find out you were a Labrador mix with the shortest legs..  True to your personality, you pissed on the labels that the veterinarians gave you.  In fact, I think you pissed on a lot of things.  Oh the memories of you shenanigans!  You were a terror.  It was until I got your brother that you calmed down. 

Today marks the fourth year that you have been gone.  

So many emotions are going through me.  I am tearing up just thinking about you.  Can I make a confession?  I still cry over you.  What happened to our time together…to the many more memories that we could have made together?  What about the many treats that are meant for you?  What about the walks that were reserved for you?

You were supposed to be here to meet my Packzi.  You were to be the one dog she loved more than anything!!!

I am mad because you left me.  Damn it, you had so many more years to live. 

I hate myself for not going with you the day you were put to sleep.  I was a coward.  You deserved better than my selfish ways. 

You gave me so much and in the end, I could not bring myself to say goodbye.

I still can’t.

I need to grieve for your loss.  But if I do, then I am afraid that you will be forever gone.

I miss you…A LOT.

People might think I am crazy for crying over you.  I say fuck them.  Obviously, people do not know the love of a pet.  They never knew how much you helped me through the years.  You were my furry best friend, my evil companion.  You left me alone when I was fine.  You came to me whenever I needed the cuddles.  If I felt angry, you would do something that would take my mind off for a few minutes. 

You were the perfect pet for me.  Without you, I would not have come out of a lot sad moments.  

Wherever you are Gimpy, I love you. 

>Did I ever mention??

>…that my ex-husband still lived with my parents?

….that my ex- husband still works for the family business?

…that for the most part, we are on good terms with each other?

….that we were moving back home with my parents?

….that he wanted to stay at my parents so he got a room built in the back of the house just for him?

….that this move is working out just fine with this crazy living arrangement?

….that maybe just maybe I  have hope that things will work out fine.

>Welcome to December

>September has always been my favorite month.

December comes second in the rankings.

Even if December is the month when my first dog was put down.  It is a sad sad anniversary, but not thinking about it makes it seem like I have forgotten about my dog.

If I can define September feels like a middle aged man, December definitely can be called an old man.

Normally, my wish is for a longer December because who wants the good feelings to go away?

This year, however, I cannot wait for the year to end.

It has been a horrible, disgusting, nasty year.

I want it to go away.

What a depressing old man December 2010 has become? 

Isn’t it time for this old man to put a bullet through its miserable head? 

2011 seems more hectic and a lot of changes will be coming our way.  I cannot say with 100% certainty that things can/will turn around for the better.  It is out of my hands and in the hands of those who hold the key to our business. 

I must not dwell on it too much.

At the same time, I cannot be careless. 

I gotta keep it together to find the best solution for the family business and finances.

Doesn’t it seem like it was only yesterday when all we had to worry about was that pesky Y2K? 

Nowadays, people have to worry about a horrible economy, the loss of their homes, jobs, credit, and only God knows what else?

If only we could turn back time.

>Argh…this darn memory!

>It could be due to the fact that I have reached and passed the big 3-0

or it human nature

maybe it is the Matrix playing games with me.

A few days ago, I began to think about the stuff that was stolen from us.  While most of the items were replaceable, a few things were custom made.  Other important things, like my first dog’s ashes are irreplaceable. 

Nevertheless, the dog came back to me.  At least his ashes did….Go Figure!

I was doing a mental inventory of the things that needed replacement.  All of the the stolen jewelry was custom made.  Most of the places were the jewelry was purchased have gone out of business.  My last shot of even finding at least one of the piece was a store where A LOT of famous celebrities shop. 

Call it a status symbol, but buying things from this store made me feel better.  When I lost the 100 plus pounds, buying things from these hot spots made me feel like I mattered.

No, my jewelry did not cost a fortune.  The pieces were less than a hundred dollars.  They were just cool looking.

Since I was bored, I wanted to do some “online window shopping.”

As I sat in front of my computer, my mind went blank.

What the heck was the name of the store?

I keep thinking and thinking about it.

I knew it wasn’t Kitson.  I never purchased anything from there.  Too expensive!!

I knew the name of the street where the store was located.  I typed in all kinds of words on my search box in order to get the best results.  They had a lot of items that were “seen on People magazine.”  No luck with that search.

Nothing came up no matter what odd keywords were used.

I even tried to google map the store.

Who knew who many shops were located on one street alone?

Then, I remembered it was something “Shop _______ “

The whole thing bothered me throughout the day.  It kept popping in my head. 

Memory loss happens, but not at my age!!

I was finally ready to give up when it came to me: SHOP INTUITION

With the name finally fresh in my mind, I typed the URL only to find this: